Reflecting on the summer of 2020
Now that we’re into September, and the end of summer, I reflect on the year so far. It seems that we’d barely started 2020 and everything changed with the Covid-19 virus and lockdown. All plans were cancelled. And new ways of working were thrust upon us.
Back in the autumn of 2019 I had helped to arrange the Dundee leg of Dr Melanie Salmon’s Scottish tour where she came to tell us about her life and work. Hearing more about her therapy, Quantum Energy Coaching (QEC), really intrigued me. I was keen to attend the training but considered then that a 6 day residential course this autumn was not feasible considering my prior commitments for 2020. When Melanie announced in April that she was to deliver the training online I jumped at the chance. What else was I doing when I couldn’t work and all other commitment had been cancelled? It seemed that I was destined to do this.
After learning about QEC and how to deliver it we have since been doing case studies and experiential work with our peers. This means that we are delving deeper into our own limiting beliefs and traumas. I doubt anyone has lived the perfect life without stress so QEC can be instrumental in allowing us to release limiting beliefs and install positive, life changing ones instead.
Early in training I wanted to deal with my bad habit of nail biting. In the past I have stopped but when stressed have started again. Embarrassed that I had been chewing on my nails again for the last two years I wanted to stop. And also to test QEC.
Melanie worked with me to identify what I needed to change and I ‘installed’ new beliefs into my subconscious, releasing the old negative habits. From that moment forward I did not bite my nails. For two months they grew out nicely and I was so proud of myself. And delighted with the power of QEC.
I continued to explore my life history during QEC sessions as a client and found that after one session I even stopped the excess of sweets and chocolate I had found myself eating during lock down. This had not been an intention that I had brought to the session.
QEC aims to work on the outer layers of our lives in order that we can build our resilience before delving deeper into the darkest traumas, often of childhood, when we are ready. I have looked at my tendency to procrastinate, to always be late for appointments, my feeling of not being good enough and deeper into how I felt as a child within my relationship with my parents. There have been a couple of sessions looking at the unintended harm caused by a parent through parenting practices of the time and my parent’s own limiting beliefs.
Eventually in late July close contact service providers were allowed to get back to work. After much research into what was required of us to keep our work space Covid 19 safe I set my reopening date for 01/08/2020. The night before I was due to see my first client again I bit my nails away. I was devastated! But I can recognise the stress and anxiety about reopening was just too much.
You see, although I had been able to temporarily stop, the underlying trauma was still to be resolved. I know from my reading about trauma that coping mechanisms are designed to cope with the stress and anxiety around trauma experienced earlier in life. We might have no cognitive memory of the disruption in regulation but our bodies will remember. Gabor Maté’s work is all about the way we 'medicate' the trauma we have experienced. Drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, sex, over eating, and other ‘bad habits’ are all methods we can use to soothe the pain we have experienced in life. Losing weight or stopping substance misuse and any other changes we wish to make can be so hard if we try to do it solely through willpower.
So I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do anything about my nail biting habit until more of my limiting beliefs had been dealt with. I’d have to live with the embarrassment. And so I continued with my case studies and with my peer sessions. And the remarkable thing is..... that I’ve stopped biting my nails again! Just like my need to eat sweets and chocolate slipped away after a session dealing with a limiting belief from childhood so has my stress relieving nail biting habit. My nails have been steadily growing for the last 3 weeks.
This is such a wonderful example of the power of QEC. Melanie teaches us that we cannot deal with any addictions until the layers of the onion have been peeled back. Each layer that we process builds up our resilience until we are ready to face the deepest traumas. And when we can face them, and process them, we won’t need our coping mechanisms any longer.
If you would like to transform your life get in touch for a chat to discuss how I could help you make lasting changes.