First written in 2019, this updated reflection explores what truly helps traumatised people heal. Through compassion, co-regulation, and safe connection, our nervous systems can learn to settle again. Healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about remembering what safety feels like and finding our way back to ourselves.

For many women, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, these patterns are often chalked up to “being scatterbrained,” “anxious,” or “just overwhelmed.” But what if there’s more going on beneath the surface?

As humans, we are biologically wired to seek connection, closeness, and safety with others. But for many of us, early experiences of trauma (especially in childhood) can leave imprints that make relationships feel confusing, overwhelming, or unsafe.

She’s barely an adult. So what has she experienced to date? We are told she had a difficult upbringing. Yet she is pathologised and blamed

‪All my life I was told I was the strong one. No, I wasn’t. There just was no space for me to be heard. So I didn’t say anything

Do you believe that a happy, well rounded individual, who feels loved and wanted, bullies or attacks others?

Many of us share posts on social media which make us feel good about ourselves. We feel that we are being empathetic and kind to others. But