Many people who have experienced trauma find themselves stuck in survival mode. Instead of feeling fully alive, they often live in patterns shaped by the past. They may feel unable to relax, always waiting for something bad to happen, or feeling disconnected from themselves. One of the most common trauma responses is freeze . The freeze trauma response can feel like being shut down, numb, or unable to act. It’s the body’s way of protecting itself when fight or flight aren’t possible. The nervous system slows everything down to keep us safe. However, when freeze becomes the default response, it can limit how we live, work, and connect with others. What Survival Mode Looks Like Survival mode isn’t always obvious. It can show up in many different ways: Finding it hard to make decisions or take action. Feeling cut off from emotions or body sensations. Struggling with procrastination or avoidance. Going blank in conversations, unable to find words. Living with a constant sense of dread or shutdown . These are not signs of weakness. They are signs of a nervous system doing its best to survive. Understanding the Freeze Response The freeze response is a natural reaction to overwhelming stress. It’s an instinctive way for the body to cope when faced with danger. While it can be protective, it often leads to a cycle of avoidance and disconnection. Recognizing this response is the first step toward healing. The Impact of Freeze on Daily Life Living in freeze can affect various aspects of life. It can hinder personal relationships, work performance, and overall well-being. People may find it challenging to engage socially or pursue their goals. This can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration. The Importance of Awareness Awareness is crucial in breaking free from the freeze response. By acknowledging these patterns, individuals can begin to understand their triggers. This understanding is vital for healing and moving forward. My Own Experience with Freeze On my own healing journey, I’ve noticed how freeze still shows up at times. When I feel threatened or deeply stressed, I sometimes find myself unable to speak. The words just won’t come, no matter how much I want them to. At other times, I slip into procrastination, endlessly putting things off because my body feels too overwhelmed to act. This is something I’ve had to work through layer by layer. I’ve noticed that when people start to come out of freeze, the fight or flight response can reappear. The nervous system swings back into action, but it can feel too much, too fast, and so the freeze returns. This cycle often continues until enough healing has been done to gently re-train and regulate the autonomic nervous system. Moving Beyond Survival The good news is that survival mode doesn’t have to be permanent. With the right support, it’s possible to: Reconnect with the body and begin to feel safe again. Learn how to regulate the nervous system. Release trauma patterns that keep you stuck in freeze. Develop new ways of responding to stress and triggers. Experience more freedom , choice, and aliveness. Healing doesn’t mean the old responses never appear, but it does mean they no longer control your life. You get to build a nervous system that can flex and recover , rather than stay trapped in shutdown. Strategies for Healing 1. Mindfulness Practices Incorporating mindfulness practices can be beneficial. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and grounding exercises help reconnect with the body. These practices promote relaxation and awareness, making it easier to navigate stress. 2. Professional Support Seeking professional support can provide guidance on the healing journey. Therapists and counselors trained in trauma-informed care can offer valuable tools and strategies. They can help individuals process their experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms. 3. Community and Connection Building a supportive network is essential. Connecting with others who understand the journey can foster a sense of belonging. Sharing experiences and insights can be incredibly healing. Final Thoughts If you recognize yourself in the freeze response, whether through silence, procrastination, or emotional shutdown, know that you’re not alone. These are understandable responses to trauma, and they can change. I’ve walked this path myself, and I support clients to do the same. Together we can work on healing your nervous system so that you can move beyond survival and begin to truly live. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #TraumaHealing #FreezeResponse #SurvivalMode #NervousSystemHealing #TraumaRecovery #TraumaInformed #HealingJourney #EmotionalHealing #SomaticHealing #FromFrozenToFree

First written in 2019, updated to reflect my ongoing learning and practice. When I first wrote this piece in 2019, I was beginning to explore the question of what really helps traumatised people heal. Since then, both my work and my understanding have deepened. I’ve trained in trauma-informed approaches, including Quantum Energy Coaching (QEC), and I now work part-time supporting people who hear voices and experience other altered states of perception. Every day, I’m reminded how vital compassion and connection are in helping people find their way towards safety and recovery. The Power of Human Connection I first wrote this after watching the film Albert Nobbs , starring Glenn Close. In an interview about the film, Close said: “People desperately need connection. There’s a danger now of getting further and further away from two human eyes looking into two human eyes.” She also spoke about empathy: “We have these neurons called mirror neurons, which reflect what you see in other people’s faces.” At the time, I didn’t yet have the language of neuroscience to describe what she was talking about. Now I recognise her words as a perfect description of co-regulation : the way our nervous systems communicate safety through eye contact, tone of voice and presence. Neuroscientists like Stephen Porges, Bruce Perry, Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Maté have shown us how deeply human connection shapes the brain and body. When we feel seen and safe, our biology begins to settle. Healing begins not with treatment plans, but with attuned presence. Where’s the Humanity? A client once told me about staying in a hotel where almost everything was automated: check-in screens, key cards, self-serve dining. She said she hardly saw another human being all weekend. That conversation stayed with me. We’re surrounded by technology that makes life convenient, but it also distances us from one another. Glenn Close’s words still echo: “What every human being seeks is safety and connection.” Whether we’re talking about trauma, grief, loneliness, or mental distress - human contact matters. We heal in relationship, not isolation. Are We Truly Trauma-Responsive? Back in 2019, I asked whether we were becoming a truly trauma-responsive nation. Many services were starting to talk about trauma, but I wasn’t seeing the same shift in how people were being met. Today, I’d say we’ve made progress, but there’s still a long way to go. Awareness campaigns have increased understanding, yet what really changes lives is embodiment : when individuals and organisations learn to bring safety, compassion, and respect into every interaction. In my work with people who hear voices, I see how transformative this can be. When someone feels genuinely heard and not pathologised, it opens the door to trust. Healing starts to feel possible again. What Works in Healing for Traumatised People When I first wrote this, I described what doesn’t  work: labeling natural survival responses as disorders, suppressing emotions with medication, or treating people as broken. I still believe we need a paradigm shift in how we view distress. Trauma-informed care starts with understanding the biology of safety . It means helping people regulate their nervous systems, release stored survival energy, and return to the “window of tolerance” where healing can take place. We now know that trauma can begin long before birth, and can even echo through generations. My own work with Quantum Energy Coaching  and trauma-informed bodywork  has shown me how deeply these patterns can run—and how powerfully they can change when we create the right conditions for safety and integration. Honouring Lived Experience Glenn Close also said: “I’ve read about and met people who’ve had horrendous childhoods, and they’re the most enlightened people. They have a certain kind of soul.” That resonates deeply. So many of the most insightful, compassionate people I’ve met have lived through profound suffering. Their experiences carry wisdom that can guide us all. We need to ensure their voices are heard, not just in awareness campaigns, but in conferences, research, and policy-making. We should value and pay them for their time and expertise. True trauma-informed practice includes listening to lived experience as equal to professional knowledge. What I Know Now Looking back, I see how much my understanding of trauma has evolved. Healing isn’t about fixing what’s “wrong” with someone. It’s about helping their system remember what safety feels like. It’s about compassion, curiosity, and connection. Through my work, I’ve learned that the body, mind, and energy system are not separate. Each holds part of the story, and each can be supported to heal. When someone begins to feel truly safe, both within themselves and in relationship with another, their natural capacity for healing awakens. Final Thoughts Trauma affects all of us, directly or indirectly. But so does healing. Every time we meet another person with empathy rather than judgement, we help repair the disconnection that trauma creates. If you’re on your own healing journey, know that it is possible to feel safe again. The path may take time, but your body and mind know the way. I’m honoured to walk alongside people as they rediscover that safety, connection, and joy are all within reach. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #TraumaInformed #HealingJourney #ConnectionHeals #TraumaRecovery #NervousSystemHealing #QuantumEnergyCoaching #TraumaHealing #EmbodiedHealing #CompassionHeals #TransformationalTherapy #MentalHealthAwareness #TraumaResponsiveScotland #TraumaInformedMassage #HealingInConnection

In the UK today, caesarean section rates are around 45%* with some areas recording a rate of over 50%. This is a huge rise compared with even a generation ago and far above the World Health Organization’s recommended rate of 10 to 15%. Caesareans save lives when they are truly needed. No one doubts that. But when they become routine rather than exceptional, women face unintended consequences that affect not just their bodies but also their minds, their relationships, and their future pregnancies. Why the Rising Caesarean Rate in UK Matters The WHO recommendation is clear: once rates climb above 15%, more caesareans do not save more lives. Instead, they begin to create new risks. For women, this can mean: Longer recovery times and increased risk of infection, blood loss, or surgical complications. Higher likelihood of complications in future pregnancies, including placenta previa, accreta, or uterine rupture. Reduced chance of having the birth they may have hoped for next time. But the conversation is not only about medical outcomes. What often gets overlooked is the emotional impact of a caesarean, particularly when it was an emergency or the woman felt powerless and unheard. The Emotional Impact For many women, a caesarean birth can be a deeply traumatic event. Perhaps it followed hours of exhausting labour, or decisions were made so quickly that they barely had time to process what was happening. Some women describe feeling as though their bodies had failed them, or that their voices were lost in the rush of medical procedures. Birth trauma can show up in very real and distressing ways: nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, or a sense of disconnection from their baby. These are not “just bad memories.” They can be symptoms of a post-traumatic stress response. When left unacknowledged, they affect bonding, feeding, and confidence in early parenting. The Ripple Effect on Future Pregnancies For women planning another baby after a caesarean, the emotional weight of their previous experience can shape the entire journey. Some feel pressured into another caesarean even if they long for a VBAC. Others face their pregnancy filled with anxiety, fearing a repeat of the trauma. The impact is not only emotional. Physically, each caesarean increases the likelihood of complications. What began as a life-saving procedure can become a factor limiting choices and increasing risk in the future. Beyond the Numbers It’s easy to think of caesarean rates as just statistics, but behind every number is a woman, her body, her baby, and her story. When birth becomes surgery by default, rather than necessity, women’s voices risk being drowned out. This isn’t about vilifying caesarean birth. It can be the safest and most compassionate choice in many situations. But when the balance tips this far, we have to ask: are women really being given the chance for safe, empowering, and supported births? Healing Is Possible If you have had a caesarean that left you feeling shaken, anxious, or traumatised, you are not alone and you do not have to carry those memories into the rest of your life. With the right support, it is possible to release the weight of trauma, to ease symptoms such as nightmares and flashbacks, and to feel calm and confident about the future. I offer trauma-informed approaches, including Rewind for PTSD , to support women in processing their birth stories and finding peace. Healing allows you not only to recover from what happened, but to step into future pregnancies and parenting with greater confidence and trust in yourself. Final Thoughts The rising caesarean rate in the UK should matter to all of us. It is not just about numbers or procedures, but about how women experience one of the most significant events of their lives. Every woman deserves a birth where she feels safe, respected, and heard. And if your birth left wounds, emotional or physical, you deserve the space to heal them. If your caesarean birth has left you feeling unsettled or traumatised, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can work gently and effectively to release the weight of your experience and help you approach the future with calm and confidence. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #UKMums #UKBirth #UKTherapist #BirthSupportUK #BirthTraumaAwareness #CaesareanBirth #VBACJourney #CesareanRecovery #HealingFromBirthTrauma #PositiveBirthMatters #EveryBirthMatters #NervousSystemHealing #PTSRSupport #EmpoweredMotherhood Scottish data NHS Board

We often think of communication as something that happens with words. Yet our bodies are speaking all the time. The way we hold ourselves, the tension we carry, the aches that appear without explanation... all of these can be signals from our deeper selves. Our energy holds a story, even when we’re not consciously aware of it. Our bodies hold more wisdom than we often realise. Sometimes, the sensations, tensions, or emotions that arise aren’t random, they are reminders of trauma stored in the body . Learning to listen to these signals can guide us towards deeper healing and wholeness. Why the Body Stores What the Mind Cannot When we go through overwhelming or traumatic experiences, our nervous system sometimes tucks away the unprocessed emotion to protect us. These experiences can then be stored in the body, waiting for a safe time to surface and release. Left unacknowledged, they can show up as chronic tension, emotional triggers, or even physical illness. The good news is that the body also knows how to heal. By tuning into subtle signals, such as sensations, emotions, or energetic shifts, we create the opportunity to release what no longer serves us. Listening Beyond Words Tuning into the body’s energy isn’t about analysing or overthinking. It’s about noticing. That knot in the stomach, the heaviness in the chest, the rush of warmth or coolness that seems to come from nowhere ... all of these are ways your body speaks. With the right support, those signals can guide you towards healing. When your body responds with tightness, trembling, or sudden emotions, it can be a way of showing you where trauma is stored in the body . These body signals of trauma  are invitations to pause and notice rather than dismiss them. A Personal Experience of Release of Trauma Stored in the Body In one of my own sessions of trauma-healing massage, I experienced this in a profound way. As my therapist worked very lightly and slowly on my left shoulder, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of terror rise up. It was as if I were hiding from someone, scared to breathe in case they heard me, even frightened that the sound of my heart might give me away. And then, just as suddenly, it seemed to wash away. I didn’t need to alert my therapist or ask her to stop. I realised my body was simply letting go of something deeply stored. I didn’t feel the need to remember or analyse what it was. I simply allowed the release to happen. And in doing so, I felt lighter, freer, and more at peace. This is the beauty of body-based trauma healing. We don’t always need to know the story in our minds. Sometimes it’s enough to let the body tell it, and let it go. The Role of Trauma-Informed Approaches Whether through massage, QEC, or other trauma-informed therapies, creating safety for the body to speak is vital. These approaches support the nervous system, making space for the subtle signals of the body to be heard and honoured. With time, this deep listening helps to restore balance, calm, and resilience. Final Thoughts Your body holds wisdom and truth beyond what words can capture. By tuning into your body’s subtle signals and honouring the energy it carries, you can release old wounds and step into greater freedom. Healing doesn’t always come through effort or analysis. Sometimes, it comes through listening and allowing. If you’re curious about what your body’s energy might be holding, and feel ready to begin releasing it safely, I’d love to support you. Through trauma-informed approaches, I can help you connect with your body’s signals, regulate your nervous system, and create lasting change. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #TraumaHealing #EmotionalHealing #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #SomaticHealing #NervousSystemRegulation #MindBodyConnection #SomaticExperience #ListenToYourBody #HealingMassage #TherapeuticTouch #TraumaRelease #InnerHealing #HolisticWellbeing #HealingFromWithin #CompassionateHealing

Some patterns don’t start with us. But they often end with us. You may find yourself reacting in ways you don’t fully understand, repeating painful dynamics, or carrying a sense of heaviness that doesn’t seem to have a clear origin. Maybe you’ve done years of personal work and still feel like something deeper is getting in the way. That “something” could be intergenerational trauma. The Legacy We Carry We inherit much more than eye colour or temperament from our families. We also carry emotional patterns, belief systems, attachment styles, and nervous system responses that were shaped by generations before us. Sometimes this legacy is visible: a grandparent who survived war, a parent who experienced neglect, cycles of addiction or abandonment. But often it’s unspoken, unacknowledged, or misunderstood. It’s the mother who shut down emotionally to survive. The father who avoided conflict at all costs. The family where no one talked about pain, let alone healed it. These patterns shape how we see the world, how safe we feel in our bodies and relationships, and what we believe we deserve. How It Shows Up You might be affected by inherited trauma if you: Struggle with boundaries or people-pleasing, even when you know better Feel responsible for others' emotions or needs Stay small, anxious, or hyper-independent, even in safe environments Repeat similar relationship dynamics or emotional patterns across generations Carry a vague but persistent feeling of shame, fear, or “not enough” These responses may not have started with you, but they live in your nervous system, shaping your experience of life. The Good News: Healing Intergenerational Patterns is Possible The most empowering truth I’ve come to know is that we don’t have to stay stuck in these inherited patterns. With the right support, it’s possible to identify what you’ve been carrying for others, and gently begin to release it. Through my advanced training in Intergenerational Trauma using QEC , I’ve seen profound changes as clients begin to unravel the emotional legacies they didn’t even know were theirs. QEC (Quantum Energy Coaching) works at the subconscious level, allowing us to rewire deep-rooted beliefs and emotional patterns, not just from your lifetime, but from the lineage that shaped you. And I’m not just offering this work. I’m doing it myself. Just last week, I explored another layer of family patterns in my own QEC practice. I uncovered a dynamic that echoed through three generations, one I had unknowingly repeated. The session brought a shift I felt not just mentally, but in my body and relationships. This is how healing ripples outward. You Can Break the Cycle If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want to pass this on,”  or “This ends with me,”  you’re already on the path. Healing inherited trauma is not about blaming our families, it’s about freeing ourselves. It’s about reclaiming what was lost, so we can move forward with more choice, more safety, and more connection. You don’t have to carry it all. Final Thoughts This work is tender, but it’s powerful. If you're ready to explore the deeper layers of what's been keeping you stuck, the ones that might not even be yours, I’d be honoured to support you. Together, we can begin the process of h ealing intergenerational patterns not just for you, but for the generations to come. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #IntergenerationalHealing #TraumaRecovery #QECHealing #BreakTheCycle #FamilyPatterns #EmotionalHealing #SomaticTherapy #NervousSystemHealing #TraumaInformedCare #SubconsciousHealing #AncestralHealing #InheritedTrauma #ThisEndsWithMe #CompassionateChange #HealingIsPossible

Sometimes talking just isn’t enough. You might understand why you react the way you do. You may have read all the right books and even had helpful conversations with therapists, friends or support groups. But still, something in your body keeps pulling you back into the same patterns. The same fears. The same emotional pain. That’s where QEC can help shift those deep-rooted beliefs and trauma responses. Healing the Deeper Layers I offer a gentle, client-led approach that works directly with the subconscious beliefs we form, often in childhood or during overwhelming life events. These beliefs shape the way we respond to the world. They affect how safe we feel, how connected we are to others and how much we trust ourselves. Talking about your experiences can be helpful, especially when you’re first starting to make sense of things. But sometimes it feels like you’re saying the same things again and again without really feeling different inside. It’s not that you’re doing it wrong. It’s that trauma isn’t just stored in your thoughts. It lives in your nervous system, in your body, and in the deep beliefs you hold about yourself and the world. The Problem with Deep-Rooted Beliefs and Trauma Responses When something difficult or traumatic happens, we often make subconscious decisions about what that means. These beliefs can take hold in childhood, after birth trauma, or following any overwhelming experience. Beliefs like: “I’m not safe.” “I’m not enough.” “I don’t have a voice.” “It’s my fault.” Even when life moves on, these beliefs can quietly shape your relationships, health, and self-worth. Working with Safety First The nervous system plays a central role in healing trauma. QEC is always guided by what feels safe and manageable. You won’t be pushed to revisit distressing memories. We begin by creating a strong sense of internal safety, then explore the beliefs that may be holding you back. A Neuroscience-Based Approach QEC draws from well-established fields in psychology, education and energy medicine. Each session is grounded in the principles of neuroscience and delivered with compassion and care. Here’s what makes it so effective: We start with clarity.  Through simple, conversational coaching, we identify the beliefs or experiences that are holding you back — often linked to early life or trauma. We set a new intention.  Together, we choose empowering beliefs you’d like to live from instead — ones that support confidence, connection, or safety. We bring the body into the process.  Using breathing techniques and posture adjustments (similar to Brain Gym or cardiac coherence), we help your nervous system feel safe enough to accept change. We work with the brain’s natural ability to rewire.  QEC draws on neuroplasticity, the brain’s capacity to create new pathways, so old patterns can genuinely shift. We gently check that the change has ‘landed’.  Using muscle testing (from kinesiology), we confirm that the new belief has been installed at a subconscious level. This is not about quick fixes. It’s about creating the conditions for lasting transformation from the inside out. Real Shifts, Not Just Insights With QEC, you can move beyond insight into integration. That might look like: Feeling calm in situations that once triggered anxiety Setting healthy boundaries without guilt Feeling connected and present with the people you love Letting go of deep shame or self-blame It’s not about fixing you because you’re not broken. It’s about gently releasing what no longer serves you. Final Thoughts I don’t just offer QEC to clients, I use it myself. Just yesterday, I worked through another layer of childhood and early adulthood trauma with my QEC Buddy, releasing long-standing patterns that stemmed from a parent’s behaviour. I recognised how those early dynamics had been showing up in my adult relationships. It’s deep work, but it’s also profoundly liberating. Each session feels like peeling back another layer and making space for something healthier, more loving, more aligned. You don’t need to talk it all through to begin healing. If you’ve tried other approaches and still feel like something is missing, QEC might offer the gentle, deep shift you’ve been looking for. You deserve to feel safe, empowered and at home in your own body. And I can help you get there. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #BirthGrief #BirthDidntGoToPlan #GrievingTheBirthYouDidntHave #PostnatalHealing #EmotionalRecoveryAfterBirth #YouAreNotAlone #TraumaInformedSupport #HealingAfterBirth #HiddenGrief

For some women, the thought of another baby fills them with joy and hope. But for others, especially those who’ve experienced a traumatic birth, the idea of being pregnant again can feel overwhelming. The fear of going through it all over again can be so intense that it overshadows the joy this new life might bring. If that sounds familiar, know this: you're not alone, and how you're feeling is valid. Pregnancy after birth trauma can stir up intense emotions, flashbacks, and anxiety. But you don’t have to go through it unsupported. The Lingering Impact of a Difficult Birth When birth has left emotional scars, they can show up in subtle and not-so-subtle ways during a subsequent pregnancy. You might notice: Nightmares or vivid memories of the previous birth Feeling detached from your current pregnancy Panic or dread when thinking about giving birth again A strong need to be in control or avoid discussions about labour Feeling ashamed, broken, or like your body failed you These are common responses to unresolved trauma. It’s not about how "bad" your last birth was on paper. What matters is how it felt to you. You're Not Weak for Feeling This Way There’s often pressure to “move on” or “be grateful.” But pregnancy after trauma can bring fears back to the surface, even if everything looks fine this time around. This doesn’t mean you aren’t excited or don’t love your baby. It means your nervous system remembers what happened and is trying to keep you safe. This is where compassion is essential. You’re not weak. You’re protecting yourself the best way you can, based on what your body and mind learned from the past. There Is a Way Through for Pregnancy after Birth Trauma You don’t need to wait until things get worse. The fear, anxiety, and emotional distress you’re feeling are not permanent. It is possible to prepare for this birth with calm, confidence, and support. I work with women who are living with the effects of birth trauma. Together, we gently unpack the fears and lingering responses held in the body. This work can ease the nervous system, process trauma, and help you feel more in control of your story. There’s no need to go through it alone, and you don’t have to wait for a long referral or tick boxes to be “eligible” for help. Final Thoughts Pregnancy after a traumatic birth can feel like you’re carrying more than just a baby. It can feel like you're carrying the weight of your past, too. But you deserve to feel supported, safe, and empowered this time around. If you’re feeling anxious about having another baby after a difficult birth, reach out. You don’t have to face this on your own. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #PregnancyAfterTrauma #BirthTraumaSupport #HealingAfterBirth #PregnancyAfterBirthTrauma #GentlePregnancySupport #TraumaInformedCare #EmotionalHealingJourney #PerinatalSupport #YouAreNotAlone

You imagined something different. Maybe you thought you'd feel strong, connected, or calm. Maybe you hoped for a particular moment: a first cuddle, a birth without intervention, a partner by your side. And when it didn’t happen that way, something in you changed. Whether your birth was traumatic, unexpectedly medicalised, or simply not what you’d hoped for, the grief can be quiet and heavy. It may not be visible to others. But it’s real. This kind of grief isn’t about wishing your baby wasn’t here. It’s about mourning what you  needed and didn’t get. Grief in the Shadows Grieving the birth you didn’t have is often hidden. Others might say, "But your baby’s fine. That’s all that matters," or, "At least nothing went seriously wrong." But your body still remembers what it hoped for. Your nervous system still holds the shock, the adrenaline, or the pain of things moving too fast or spiralling out of control. And your heart still longs for what might have been: a calm birth, a moment of pride, a feeling of choice or agency. It’s not just about what happened, or the eventual birth mode. It’s about how supported you felt by your healthcare providers, your partner, and those around you. It’s about whether you were part of the decision-making process. It’s about whether you still felt safe as plans changed or alternatives were suggested. This grief doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re human. Signs You Might Be Grieving the Birth You Didn’t Have Even if you wouldn’t describe your birth as traumatic, you might notice: Feeling numb or detached when you think about the birth A deep sadness or heaviness you can’t quite explain Difficulty hearing other people’s birth stories, especially if they sound positive or empowering Guilt about "not doing it right" or not feeling how you expected to feel Feeling let down by your body, care team, or yourself Anxiety about future births A sense of disappointment that lingers, even when others think you should be “over it” Naming the Loss is Part of the Healing Acknowledging that something painful happened, that something important was missing, is often the first step toward healing. You might not be able to rewrite the birth, but you can honour your experience. You can let go of shame. You can give yourself the compassion you needed at the time. In my work, I hold space for people to explore this kind of grief without judgement or pressure. Whether your story is full of obvious trauma or quiet heartbreak, you are allowed to feel what you feel. You are allowed to grieve a birth that was hard, even if others think it "could have been worse." You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone You might be wondering, What now? Healing starts when you’re met with safety, presence, and permission to feel. I offer gentle, trauma-informed support to help you: Honour your story, even if no one else understands it Set down the guilt, the shame, or the self-blame Reconnect with your body, your intuition, and your sense of safety Feel more grounded, calm, and whole. One breath at a time I work in a way that’s flexible, compassionate, and tailored to you. There are no waiting lists, no pressure to retell everything, and no expectation to heal on anyone else’s schedule but your own. You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to relive it. You just have to arrive, as you are. Final Thoughts You don’t have to pretend it was OK. You don’t have to push your feelings down to be a good parent. You can grieve, and you can heal. If you’re holding pain from a birth that didn’t go the way you hoped, I see you. And I’d be honoured to walk with you as you make peace with what happened, and find your way back to yourself. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #BirthGrief #BirthDidntGoToPlan #GrievingTheBirthYouDidntHave #PostnatalHealing #EmotionalRecoveryAfterBirth #YouAreNotAlone #TraumaInformedSupport #HealingAfterBirth #HiddenGrief

Have you ever wondered why things that seem easy for others feel like a mountain for you? Why your mind drifts during conversations, you forget appointments, or leave tasks half-finished. Not because you don’t care, but because your brain simply won’t  hold on to the thread? For many women, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, these patterns are often chalked up to “ being scatterbrained,” “anxious,” or “just overwhelmed.” But what if there’s more going on beneath the surface? The Quiet Face of ADD in Women When most people hear “ADHD,” they imagine hyperactivity: bouncing off the walls, interrupting, fidgeting nonstop. But that’s only one part of the picture. The inattentive presentation  of ADD (formerly known as ADD without the H) looks very different. And ADD in women is even more likely to be missed or mislabelled. Women and girls are often socialised to mask their struggles. They might be daydreamers, labelled as “shy” or “spacey.” They might develop anxiety or perfectionism as a way of coping with the internal chaos. Some seem capable on the outside but feel like they’re constantly falling behind, burning out just to stay afloat. My Story: Recognising Myself in the Pages I first came across Gabor Maté’s Scattered Minds  years ago. It fascinated me, especially the links he drew between early trauma and attention difficulties. But still, I thought, “That’s interesting… but it’s not really me.” It wasn’t until much later (just last year, in fact) that something finally clicked. I picked up one of Sari Solden’s  books on women and ADHD, and suddenly I felt like someone had been watching my life and writing it down. Her words captured so many of the things I’d struggled with silently for years: the overwhelm, the guilt, the emotional intensity, the masking. It was like being seen for the first time. That realisation brought a huge wave of relief, grief, and curiosity. Relief that there was an explanation. Grief for all the years I’d blamed myself. And curiosity about how to move forward in ways that support my actual brain, not just the one I was trying to force myself to have. Trauma and Inattentive ADD: A Complicated Mix If you’ve experienced trauma, especially in childhood, the lines between trauma symptoms and ADD symptoms can blur. Dissociation, memory gaps, difficulty focusing, feeling overwhelmed or scattered… these can all be part of the trauma response and  of inattentive ADD. And here’s the thing: you might have both. Trauma can amplify the struggles of a neurodivergent brain. And for many women, the trauma came first, often in environments where their differences were misunderstood or punished instead of supported. In my work with clients, I often hear stories like: “I thought I was lazy for years.” “I can’t remember big chunks of my life.” “I always feel like I’m too much and not enough at the same time.” These are not personal failings. They’re survival strategies that made sense at the time, and they often hide a deeper truth. Signs You Might Have Inattentive ADD (and Not Know It) If any of these resonate, it might be worth exploring further: You struggle to organise your thoughts, plan ahead, or follow through on tasks, even ones you care about deeply. You’re easily distracted, especially when you’re trying to focus. You feel emotionally flooded or paralysed when faced with “simple” decisions. You work hard to mask your struggles, often burning out in the process. You’ve spent years thinking you just weren’t trying hard enough. You hyperfocus on one thing while completely forgetting something else that was time-sensitive. You move between tasks without finishing them, then wonder what you were even doing in the first place. You often leave cabinet doors, drawers, or cupboards open without noticing. (Yes, that’s a thing!) When Everyday Life Feels Like a Puzzle For me, and for many other women with inattentive ADD, procrastination  isn’t about laziness or lack of ambition. It’s about overwhelm. A task that seems small to someone else can feel completely unmanageable when your mind can’t hold the steps in order or predict how long it will take. The result? You put it off, feel awful, and then judge yourself for the spiral. Then there’s object permanence , not just a developmental milestone for babies, but something many adults with ADD struggle with too. If something is out of sight, it’s out of mind. You put the important paperwork in a “safe place”… and never see it again. You clean the house and forget where you’ve put things. You buy doubles and triples of things you already own, but can’t find. Relationships  can also be deeply affected. You might miss social cues, forget birthdays, or zone out during conversations. And carry enormous guilt afterwards. You may find it hard to stay emotionally present in a long conversation or juggle the mental load in a partnership. And often, you’ve internalised the belief that you’re just “too much” or “not enough.” All of this can leave you feeling misunderstood, even in close relationships, especially if the people around you don’t know what’s really going on beneath the surface. What Healing Might Look Like Uncovering a hidden pattern like inattentive ADD can be a huge relief. It brings clarity and self-compassion, two things that are vital in any healing journey. Support for trauma is essential, but so is understanding the way your brain actually works. When women begin to unpick these threads, they often find new possibilities: freedom from shame, better systems of support, and tools that actually work  for their nervous system . In my own work, I offer trauma-informed approaches that respect the whole person: body, mind, energy, and spirit. Whether it’s bodywork to soothe a frazzled system, or coaching to rewire limiting beliefs, the goal is always to help you feel safe in your own skin, and more you  than ever before. Final Thoughts If you’ve been moving through life feeling like something just isn’t adding up, always working harder than others to hold things together, you are not alone. And you are not broken. Your challenges might be rooted in more than just trauma. You may be living with an undiagnosed neurodivergence like inattentive ADD. Hidden, but not uncommon. There is support. There are answers. And there’s a way to make peace with your past and  your brain. Want Support? If any of this feels familiar, I invite you to get in touch. I offer trauma-informed support for women healing from childhood and birth trauma... and I understand how neurodivergence can shape the healing process. Together, we can explore gentle, effective ways to help your nervous system settle, your mind feel clearer, and your body remember what safety feels like. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #TraumaInformed #HealingJourney #NervousSystemSupport #MindBodyHealing #WomenSupportingWomen #InattentiveADHD #ADHDInWomen #HiddenADHD #ADHDAwareness #LateDiagnosisADHD #ADHDAndTrauma #NeurodivergentWomen #LivingWithADHD

A caesarean birth can save lives, and still leave you feeling shaken, disempowered, or unsure about what comes next. Whether your caesarean was planned or an emergency, gentle or traumatic, straightforward or complicated, it may have left a lasting emotional imprint on your body and your confidence. Now you’re looking ahead. Maybe you’re thinking about another baby. Maybe you’re already pregnant. You may feel hopeful and scared, determined and uncertain, and unsure what kind of birth you want this time around. This post is for you. Whatever you choose, whether a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) or a planned caesarean, your feelings are valid, your experiences matter, and you deserve support. The Emotional Side of Recovery After a Caesarean Many women are surprised by the emotional weight they carry after a caesarean. You may have been told, “At least you and baby are safe,” as if that should erase everything you went through. But even when the outcome is positive, the experience may have been frightening, rushed, painful, or out of your control. There may be feelings of failure, guilt, or anger. You may not have felt seen, heard, or supported. It’s OK if you still feel shaken. It’s OK if your body holds the memory. It’s OK if you want something different next time. Healing emotionally and physically after a caesarean takes time. For many women, planning their next birth is a powerful part of that process. Planning a VBAC: It Starts With You If you’re considering a VBAC, you may be navigating lots of external opinions from care providers, friends, or family. But the most important voice in the room is yours. VBAC is a safe and valid option for many women. So is choosing a planned repeat caesarean. What matters most is that you feel informed, confident, and supported  in whatever path you take. In my work supporting women after birth trauma, I help clients: Reconnect with their bodies and intuition Explore what they need to feel safe this time around Identify any lingering fears or trauma from their previous birth Develop self-trust, emotional resilience, and nervous system regulation This inner work is what allows real, embodied confidence to grow, not just about birth, but about your ability to make empowered decisions for yourself and your baby. There’s No One “Right” Choice, Only the One That Feels Right for You Some of my clients begin with a clear desire for a VBAC and stay with that choice. Others decide that a planned caesarean feels safest for them, especially if their last birth left deep emotional scars. What matters is not which path you choose, but that you feel supported, not pressured, in making it. If you’re planning a VBAC, you deserve more than clinical facts. You deserve emotional preparation, too. You deserve to feel calm, centred, and connected as you step into this next birth, however it unfolds. Final Thoughts If you’re recovering from a caesarean and preparing for your next birth, you don’t need to carry all the questions and emotions on your own. Whether you choose a VBAC or another caesarean, your voice matters. Your healing matters. You get to write the next chapter, and you don’t have to do it alone. How I Can Support You I offer gentle, trauma-informed support to women preparing for birth after a caesarean. This may include: Rewind therapy , if your last birth still brings up fear or distress QEC , to release limiting beliefs and strengthen self-trust Trauma-informed massage , to help your body feel safe again and reconnect with itself Emotional preparation , to help you feel grounded and ready for whatever kind of birth you choose. If you’re ready to step into this next chapter with more clarity and confidence, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #VBACPreparation #BirthAfterCaesarean #HealingAfterBirth #BirthTraumaRecovery #InformedBirthChoices #BirthConfidence #TraumaInformedSupport #QECHealing #RewindTherapy #InformedChoices

We often hear that “a healthy baby is all that matters.” But for many parents, birth can leave deep emotional and physical wounds that don’t fade once they’re holding their baby in their arms. Traumatic birth isn’t defined by how the birth unfolded on paper. It’s about how you  experienced it. Whether you felt powerless, ignored, unsafe, or out of control. And when those experiences remain unresolved, they can leave long-lasting effects on your body and mind. If you’re still feeling the impact of a difficult birth weeks, months, or even years later, please know: you're not alone. And you're not imagining it. What Birth Trauma Can Feel Like Birth trauma doesn’t always look like how people expect trauma to look. Often, it shows up quietly, in daily life, in the body, in relationships, in how you sleep and feel. You might be experiencing: Flashbacks, nightmares or intrusive images  from the birth High levels of anxiety or panic , especially around hospitals, medical environments or separation from your baby Avoidance , such as refusing to talk about the birth, avoiding certain places, or struggling to attend follow-up medical appointments Hypervigilance , feeling constantly on edge or unable to relax, even when your baby is safe Sleep difficulties , even when your baby sleeps Numbness, dissociation, or emotional shutdown Feelings of guilt, failure, or shame , even when others say “you did your best” Fear of future pregnancies or births , or dread at the idea of going through it again. These are all normal responses to an overwhelming event. You may be experiencing a Post-Traumatic Stress Response (PTSR) , a survival adaptation, not a disorder. Nothing is “wrong” with you. Something happened  to you. You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone Sometimes parents tell me they’ve “waited too long” to seek help. That they thought they should be over it by now, or that their trauma wasn’t as bad as someone else’s. But trauma isn’t a competition, and healing doesn’t run on a schedule. Whether your difficult birth was six weeks ago or six years ago, your story matters. And support is available. In my work, I hold space for people to begin gently letting go of what they’ve been carrying. There’s no pressure to re-tell your story or re-live the moment. You set the pace. You stay in control. What Healing Can Look Like The right support can help you: Sleep more peacefully Let go of intrusive images or panic Feel more connected to your baby, your body, and your instincts Stop avoiding places or conversations that remind you of the birth Rebuild trust in yourself and your choices Begin to feel more grounded and less triggered One of the tools I offer is the 3 Step Rewind technique , a gentle process that helps release the emotional charge from traumatic memories. It usually takes just 2 or 3 sessions to see a noticeable reduction in flashbacks, nightmares, or anxiety around the birth. I also offer trauma-informed massage  to support nervous system regulation, helping your body remember what it’s like to feel safe, calm, and present. For those who want to work with subconscious beliefs that may have formed during a traumatic birth (like “I failed” or “I wasn’t safe”) I also offer QEC (Quantum Energy Coaching) . It’s a gentle but powerful way to shift what you’re carrying beneath the surface, without having to talk through the details. Final Thoughts A difficult birth can leave invisible scars, but you don’t have to carry them forever. You’re allowed to seek support. You’re allowed to heal. And it’s never too late to begin. Because YOU matter! How I Can Support You Whether you’re living with trauma from a recent birth, still feeling the impact of an earlier one, or preparing for another baby and want to feel more confident this time, I offer gentle, trauma-informed support that meets you where you are. You don’t need to explain everything, just show up as you are. I’ll walk beside you. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #BirthTraumaRecovery #PostTraumaticStressResponse #WhenBirthHurts #HealingAfterBirth #TraumaInformedSupport #QECHealing #RewindTechnique #TraumaInformedMassage #BirthTraumaAwareness #YouMatter

When people begin a healing journey, especially after trauma, there's often an unspoken hope: that things will get better and stay  better. That each step forward will feel lighter, easier, clearer. But healing doesn’t unfold in neat, upward steps. It spirals. It pauses. It circles back. And just when you begin to feel a bit safer, that’s often when unexpected emotions or physical sensations rise to the surface. This doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It means your system finally feels safe enough to release what it had to hold onto just to survive. Why It Can Feel Harder Before It Feels Easier For many people, the early stages of healing bring relief: better sleep, fewer flashbacks, a feeling of coming back into the body. But sometimes, this is followed by a wave of emotion or discomfort that seems to come out of nowhere. This is your nervous system saying: Now it’s safe to feel this. Before, your body may have numbed certain memories or sensations to help you cope. Once safety is re-established, whether through trauma-informed massage, somatic support, or other healing work, the body can begin to thaw. That thawing may look like: Unexpected sadness or anger Unfamiliar aches or tension Emotional overwhelm Tiredness or need for more rest A desire to isolate, followed by a need for connection This doesn’t mean the work isn’t helping. It often means it’s working exactly  as it should. Healing Isn't Linear: What It Means to Heal in Layers In trauma recovery, we work with the nervous system in layers. Each time we create more capacity for safety, another layer of held experience may surface. This is natural, and often necessary. You might feel frustrated by this process: I thought I’d already dealt with this.  But the truth is, you’re meeting it now with more support, more regulation, and more choice than you had before. This is not a setback. It’s a deepening. How I Support You Through This Part of the Journey My role is to offer a steady presence and a safe container. Whether we're using massage, breathwork, Rewind, or QEC, I won’t rush you or push you to go where you’re not ready. We begin each massage session by exploring how you want to feel physically, emotionally, and energetically, and tailor everything to that intention. I encourage you to stay connected to your body, your breath, and your own sense of choice. If difficult feelings arise between sessions, you’re welcome to share what’s coming up. Sometimes, simply naming what’s happening in a safe space is part of the release. Book Recommendation If you’d like to explore more about why old emotions or physical symptoms can return once you feel safe, I recommend In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness  by Peter A. Levine . This book explores how the body processes trauma beneath words, through sensations, instincts, and the nervous system. It’s a powerful reminder that healing is not about forcing change, but about gently allowing the body to complete what it couldn’t at the time of trauma. “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”  – Peter A. Levine Final Thoughts Healing isn’t linear. It moves in spirals, it deepens over time, and it honours your pace. If you’ve started to feel more grounded but find that old feelings are surfacing again, you haven’t failed. You’re not broken. Your body finally trusts that it’s safe to let go. That is a powerful sign of progress. How I Can Support You Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or navigating a deeper layer, I offer gentle, trauma-informed support tailored to your needs. Together, we create the conditions for your nervous system to rest, reset, and release, in your own time, at your own pace. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #HealingIsntLinear #TraumaInformedSupport #SomaticHealing #NervousSystemRecovery #EmotionalSafety #TraumaHealingJourney