When people begin a healing journey, especially after trauma, there's often an unspoken hope: that things will get better and stay  better. That each step forward will feel lighter, easier, clearer. But healing doesn’t unfold in neat, upward steps. It spirals. It pauses. It circles back. And just when you begin to feel a bit safer, that’s often when unexpected emotions or physical sensations rise to the surface. This doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It means your system finally feels safe enough to release what it had to hold onto just to survive. Why It Can Feel Harder Before It Feels Easier For many people, the early stages of healing bring relief: better sleep, fewer flashbacks, a feeling of coming back into the body. But sometimes, this is followed by a wave of emotion or discomfort that seems to come out of nowhere. This is your nervous system saying: Now it’s safe to feel this. Before, your body may have numbed certain memories or sensations to help you cope. Once safety is re-established, whether through trauma-informed massage, somatic support, or other healing work, the body can begin to thaw. That thawing may look like: Unexpected sadness or anger Unfamiliar aches or tension Emotional overwhelm Tiredness or need for more rest A desire to isolate, followed by a need for connection This doesn’t mean the work isn’t helping. It often means it’s working exactly  as it should. Healing Isn't Linear: What It Means to Heal in Layers In trauma recovery, we work with the nervous system in layers. Each time we create more capacity for safety, another layer of held experience may surface. This is natural, and often necessary. You might feel frustrated by this process: I thought I’d already dealt with this.  But the truth is, you’re meeting it now with more support, more regulation, and more choice than you had before. This is not a setback. It’s a deepening. How I Support You Through This Part of the Journey My role is to offer a steady presence and a safe container. Whether we're using massage, breathwork, Rewind, or QEC, I won’t rush you or push you to go where you’re not ready. We begin each massage session by exploring how you want to feel physically, emotionally, and energetically, and tailor everything to that intention. I encourage you to stay connected to your body, your breath, and your own sense of choice. If difficult feelings arise between sessions, you’re welcome to share what’s coming up. Sometimes, simply naming what’s happening in a safe space is part of the release. Book Recommendation If you’d like to explore more about why old emotions or physical symptoms can return once you feel safe, I recommend In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness  by Peter A. Levine . This book explores how the body processes trauma beneath words, through sensations, instincts, and the nervous system. It’s a powerful reminder that healing is not about forcing change, but about gently allowing the body to complete what it couldn’t at the time of trauma. “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”  – Peter A. Levine Final Thoughts Healing isn’t linear. It moves in spirals, it deepens over time, and it honours your pace. If you’ve started to feel more grounded but find that old feelings are surfacing again, you haven’t failed. You’re not broken. Your body finally trusts that it’s safe to let go. That is a powerful sign of progress. How I Can Support You Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or navigating a deeper layer, I offer gentle, trauma-informed support tailored to your needs. Together, we create the conditions for your nervous system to rest, reset, and release, in your own time, at your own pace. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #HealingIsntLinear #TraumaInformedSupport #SomaticHealing #NervousSystemRecovery #EmotionalSafety #TraumaHealingJourney

Someone shared an article, (Why This Mum Thinks All Women Should Masturbate During Labour) , recently in a Facebook Group I am a member of. Sadly, the idea that women might masturbate during their labour was met with horror! As a doula I am acutely aware that the hormones required for a smooth labour are also produced during lovemaking. This is because the act of sex, or lovemaking, is just one end of the reproduction spectrum whilst birth is towards the other end. reproductive cycle Type: Term Definitions: 1. the cycle that begins with conception and extends through gestation and parturition. (parturition is the medical term for child birth) I was dismayed to see such a disconnect in women about birth and their bodies. So I thought I'd have a go at explaining Birth and Sex. Firstly, here is an amusing video portraying the difficulty couples would face if they tried to have sex in conditions commonly found in many medical maternity models. You can see that it's not ideal. Do you think you could make love with your partner in such conditions? Why, then, should we expect labour to progress in these conditions? Unfortunately, there's a lot of truth in this video when relating to some maternity settings. And so, women are told they are not progressing, that they need a little help and commonly drugs are offered. But their own bodies can produce much of what they need if we can provide the right environment in which they can feel safe, warm, loved and respected. Keri Jarvis explains quite simply in her article printed in iHealth "Oxytocin is key to the progression in labour. It's the hormone that stimulates the uterus to contract... ... and its levels depend on the woman feeling safe, calm, confident, supported, and loved. When this oxytocin is flowing through her, she is more readily able to produce endorphins (endogenous morphine - the body's own pain relievers), and so she is more comfortable. She therefore continues to feel safe and calm, lovely productive oxytocin flows freely, and labour progresses well." The late, great Sheila Kitsinger tells us during the film, Freedom for Birth, that “ Birth isn’t something we suffer, but something we actively do and exult in." I can almost hear you scoffing, that wasn't your experience, right? Or maybe you did? Then please share your story in the comments. Sheila also writes in her book, Birth and Sex , "Birth should not be summed up in terms of sheer pain, as a demonstration of self-control, or as a physiological performance in which a woman puts on an exhibition of athletic breathing skills. In an environment where she knows that she is free to be spontaneous, supported by relationships which enable her to release and trust her body, hormones flow in her bloodstream with the same energy as in ecstatic lovemaking. Birth and sex mingle to become one in the thrilling, sweet, intense and overwhelming experience of creation. It can be mind-blowing and orgasmic." Well, wouldn't that be fabulous? Mark Harris (author of Men, Love and Birth ) agrees that "Female orgasm and birth can be viewed as one event separated by time." Is it wrong to think that birth can be something enjoyable, something pleasurable, something like sex? Why do many still think of sex as something completely disconnected from the birth of the baby? Again, I go back to Sheila: "Pain and pleasure are often very similar. Orgasm can bring a bitter-sweet pain." Amongst the quotes from women she uses is 'Sometimes the pleasure is so acute it is almost too much to bear, almost painful.' If orgasm can be almost painful, couldn't birth be pleasurable? Why shouldn't it be? I asked amongst my colleagues in the birth world what they thought about birth and sex. This generated a fascinating conversation! I am pleased to say that many of the midwives, doulas and birth educators I spoke to will often encourage a women to use her own body in labour and, indeed, Mark says 'respecting privacy and birth are inseparable, the environment suitable for a woman to release herself into orgasm is a similar one suitable for birthing into....if she feels like she had to ask for privacy, the midwife isn't doing her job.' Others commented that they found that women would often unconsciously reach down and stimulate their clitoris during labour, just as Angela Gallo describes in her blogpost mentioned in the article above. I love that some women ARE being provided with a birthing environment which allows them to feel safe enough to follow their instincts. I wish all women were! A fellow doula, Maddie McMahon (author of Why Doulas Matter ) , shared that she "once sat in the kitchen with a midwife looking very uncomfortable as we listened to the buzz of the vibrator during every contraction. It was a quick and apparently pain-free birth," and it was pointed out that clitoral vibrators do come in fully submersible versions. Ideal for those who wish to birth in a pool ...! Virginia Howes, Independent Midwife, shared an that she remembers the wonderful Mary Cronk telling her years ago "that if labour stalls use the clitoris!" However, this appears not to be something that our student midwives are being taught in their core curriculum. This is the kind of ancient wisdom we've been losing over the last century. It is the enlightened and eager student such as Miriam who thinks "it's striking how we live in a world that is so sexualised yet a lot of women feel shame for their pleasure. Then there is a whole group of women that feel shame for not experiencing orgasm for whatever reason either alone or with a partner. I've heard a lot about self pleasure during labour for oxytocin." Miriam continues: "I would love to be able to look into this more. I think its so important. But in 2.5 years of training so far we've not even had a mention of this in lectures, nor any issues surrounding this (not even talking about how to approach sex and pleasure postnatally which is surely part of the postnatal follow up??)" Thankfully, although she finds that in her midwifery training "ALL the reading is medical text" she does her "own additional research and attend workshops etc." I am, for one, thankful to know that student midwives, and qualified midwives, do exist that think outside of the box and actively seek to find out how birth works instead of just learning about the pathology. These midwives would agree with Miriam and Mark that the topic of Birth and Sex is "an area that is under investigated for sure." "But not all women can/do experience arousal/desire/orgasm...." admits Miriam, as well as others. How will these women experience labour? Will they be alarmed or confused if their birthing body experiences sensations they have not discovered before? Will they experience these sensations during labour if it's not their experience in sex. "Women are so frightened of their bodies changing during pregnancy and tearing during birth" was the contribution from Anthonissa Moger. "Nobody talks about how powerful, liberated and free you can feel after birth. I always tell my clients a little secret, that sex can feel so much better after having a baby!" Virginia Howes agrees with me about the reaction I saw in the group I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post, "We are so uptight about women's bodies when it comes to reproduction... Add some scanty underwear, a man or a vibrator in the hands of a sexy model and masturbation comments would be "go girls " all the way ...." And boy! Is she right!! So, the midwifery schools are shying away from discussing the sexual side of birth, and women often have inherited hang-ups about their bodies and sex (something we can thank the Victorian era for), while too many are living with the consequences of sexual abuse. Is it any wonder that many women really struggle with being truly in touch with the reproductive side of their body? Sadly, not every one of those women will experience a sensitive midwife, obstetrician or doula who will provide her that safe space to grow into her sexual reproductive self. This is something we must strive towards! But we really need to start much earlier than when women enter their childbearing years. From the moment a toddler starts exploring her body parts we need to tell her she has a vulva and a vagina (not a flower, or a front bottom, or any of the myriad of silly euphemisms), that it's ok for her to touch herself in private, to explore her body and get to know it but that no-one, I mean no-one, not even a medical care provider, is allowed to touch her without her express permission. (Sadly, sexual abuse happens in many contexts, including within maternity settings. That's a whole other blog post). We need better Sex Ed. in schools with a quality birth component that is not inadvertently designed to scare our children. If little girls grow up confident about their body and its ability to grow, birth and feed a baby we would have women who already instinctively know how to tap into the sexual side of birth. However, more women are now taking back birth and the rise of gold standard antenatal education, such as the Wise Hippo Birthing Programme, as well as the growing numbers of doulas, means that birth no longer has to be that awful painful thing we have grown to expect to endure. More and more women are learning that they can take charge of their own births. They are beginning to believe they can have empowered births. That they might have orgasmic births. They might have pain-free births even. They are hearing that it's ok to explore their body. That it's ok to touch themselves during labour. And why they should!

As we head deeper in to the cold and dark of winter I find myself sinking in to a bad place. Well, I've struggled to get out of it since last year, to be honest. Understandable when having to deal with bereavement and the ensuing clearing of the property and personal belongings, which took a long, l o n g time. We had a buyer for Mum's house but they pulled out with just two weeks until completion. And this has impacted heavily on decisions I had made and plans going forward. So I'm feeling particularly challenged as we head into this winter. I know many of you will be in a similar place, feeling low, struggling with life, dealing with challenges you can really do without. What can we do to get by? Self-care is important. As a massage therapist I obviously recommend regular bodywork. I am so thankful for the massages I enjoy twice a month. They keep me going, still able to function. But I recognise that there are many other ways of caring for yourself and I also know that we're often not good at making sure we do it. Organisations such as Mind can be useful in looking for suggestions . What would work for you? Recognising where you are is a great start and I know that the winter months will always compound any challenges I face. My typical coping strategies are not always the healthiest or beneficial. So I endeavour to do what I need to do in order to avoid getting out of hand. As I shook myself together today in an effort to get outside for some Ecotherapy, walking the dogs to get the benefit of the rare sunshine, I was reminded of the sentiment I posted at the start of the year, during last winter. So I'm adding it again below for those reading who are fortunate enough to be doing OK. If you know someone who appears to be struggling please don't wait for them to ask for help. Read on to understand why. "My door is always open, kettle is always on and my front step is always warm and a place of peace and non judgement, any of my friends who need to chat are welcome anytime. It's no good suffering in silence. I have cold drinks in the fridge tea & coffee in the jars and I will always be here. ...You are never not welcome!! Could at least one friend please copy and repost (not share)? I'm trying to demonstrate that someone is always listening. #SuicideAwareness" Bollocks!! Ok, so variations of this are doing the rounds on Facebook with well-meaning people just now but it’s beginning to really piss me off!! Here are the reasons why: ​ Most people who share probably do have lives with commitments to employers, or others, which mean that they simply cannot be available 24/7. I know they mean well and I’m sure they feel great when they share the sentiment... When I expressed my frustration on my Facebook page a good friend shared with me her perspective on the British psyche when it comes to just popping in unannounced, as suggested by the quote above. I completely agree with her, as both of us were born elsewhere and raised in communities which felt somewhat different. In Britain it feels like it is not the done thing to actually do what the quote suggests. My late mother frequently would lament that despite telling her neighbours, who passed by and spoke to her over the low garden wall, that she would love them to pop in for a cuppa and a chat, they never did. I’m fairly sure some of you reading this will feel that your experience is different. However, it really doesn’t seem like the done thing, the way we ‘do things in Britain’. Which makes it incredibly hard to take that step and knock on someone’s door to say hello. Especially when you don’t feel especially bright and cheery. And even though they’ve offered an open invitation....... As someone who has coped with depression before, and who is currently grieving, and who has supported others with suicidal thoughts, I can quite categorically assure you that the people this quote wishes to help are NOT in a place to turn up at someone’s door. As I have already explained it doesn’t seem like the done thing, and people are often busy. Which means that getting up the strength and will to go round to another’s house is not easy, when we’re depressed, or grieving, or coping with mental health issues, including feeling suicidal. W​e are in a bad place before we even start and so we don’t feel that we can go and impose our 'black dog' on their doorstep. We worry that our friend is so busy with their own life that we can’t take up any of their time. We fear that we will turn up at an inconvenient time. If we do find the ability to go to someone’s door and they’re not in or it’s inconvenient it can leave us feeling worse! Often we feel that we really can’t put into words what we are feeling without others being judgmental, at worst, or just not getting it, at best. People will try to be reassuring or helpful but it often inadvertently makes the one suffering feel like their feelings are not validated. Have you ever said “Oh, don’t be silly, of course you’re [insert platitude here]” to someone who is explaining to you what is troubling them? So, we withdraw our ‘silly’ selves further... So, instead of sharing this stuff on social media, try calling the people you know who are currently struggling. SHOW them you care! DO something. Be assertive. Be proactive. Call them/private message them/text them and arrange to meet up. Get your diary out so that you can schedule something with them, so they know you’ve set aside time for them, so they don’t worry about imposing at an inconvenient time. And don't give up if they are not quite ready to accept the first time you suggest. Because they are unlikely to be in a place where they can make the first move. They need to be nurtured, they need to feel worthy. They can’t pour from an empty jug but you can fill it. It’s much easier to accept something that is offered than to ask for something you need, isn’t it? If you do call, leave a voicemail if they aren’t able to answer. Tell them you will call back. However, your initial contact might be all they need to have the strength to call you back first. Just don’t expect it. Of course, I am fairly sure I’ve been just as guilty when others have needed support. And so I resolve to be more mindful about this and make sure I do step up for others. I do know from experience that the idea behind the quote is actually extremely helpful. It can make a huge difference to be able to share our pain with someone who listens without judgment or conditions. It feels like a weight is lifted and we feel stronger. But to get there we need you to do more than just offer a vague opportunity. We need you to be specific with your offer. You can make a difference. BUT , and it's a big but . So many of these chain status update things are merely emotional extortion. Yes, I'm afraid it is, no matter how much some might protest. We are all made to feel like we're insensitive if we don't copy and paste. And some are downright dangerous in terms of scamming or phishing.. I'll leave you to read more about them here: "Repost this if you have a heart. Emotional extortion on Facebook" Please. Stop. Think before you update your status with something you've read on another person's wall. Is it useful? Does it actually make a difference to someone? Like, a tangible difference? If not, maybe you should scroll on by. #depression #mydoorisalwaysopen #selfcare #suicideawareness #safeTALK #unconditional #massage #life

As a therapist I will sometimes feel that clients expect me to fix them and will want all the bells and whistles in their massage. I’ll feel the need to use every available stroke I know of that might help the particular issue they’ve come with. I worry that I might let them down, not be effective, not be good enough. However, if I remove my own limiting beliefs and remember the many days of training I do every year, I know that less is more. Using fewer strokes so that I do more of just a few is actually more powerful than throwing in the whole shebang. Our brains can switch off with the security of the repetition of rhythmic, soothing massage strokes. Yesterday I went to my massage therapist for one of my twice monthly massages. It’s often hard for us to switch off our therapist heads and go in with a client mindset. However, with the knowledge I have I was able to confidently say I wanted less. I wanted some deeper work on my spine to realign and lighter work everywhere else, I wanted it to be slow. I love to feel strong, tall, capable, effortless, graceful.... like a ballerina, after my massage. My massage table set up in my therapy space Having said that I wanted ‘less is more’, because I know that is usually the best way to get my brain to switch off and go into that magical place between awake and sleep, I did worry slightly that I wouldn’t get there. Well, I focused on my breathing, I thought about my positive outcome, I lingered on how the touch felt, I got swept along by the music and disappeared into the neverworld. My mind was empty. No cares. No stresses. How could I have ever doubted the magic of repetitive, rhythmical, soothing, flowing touch? I don’t really remember it all but I know my NO HANDS Massage Therapist used just a few strokes and yes, less is most definitely more ! Once dressed I walked around the room noticing what felt different. I was walking easily, smoothly, effortlessly. I felt calm and confident. Tall and straight. It’s not that she did anything in particular to ‘fix’ me. I mean, she only used a few strokes out of the toolbox. What she did was give me space to let go, to release. And so I could set down the stress of modern life and walk out feeling recharged, reset, rejuvenated. How would YOU like to feel? Get in touch now to book your massa ge.

For many people, massage is thought of as a way to ease sore shoulders or take a short break from daily stress. But if you've lived through trauma, especially the kind that lingers in the body, the idea of lying down and letting someone touch you might feel more overwhelming than relaxing. Trauma-informed massage recognises this. It creates space for your body to feel safe enough to soften, at your own pace, in your own time. Let’s explore how this approach differs from conventional massage, and why emotional safety, choice, and presence matter just as much as the physical techniques. The Limits of Conventional Massage Traditional massage often focuses on physical tension. A therapist might ask where it hurts, apply a certain technique, and aim to release the knot. But trauma doesn’t just live in the muscles. It can affect how we relate to touch, how safe we feel in our own skin, and whether our nervous system can relax at all. Without acknowledging this, massage (even with the best of intentions) can sometimes feel too fast, too clinical, or too disconnected. It might leave a client feeling exposed, or worse, triggered. What Makes Trauma-Informed Massage Different? Trauma-informed massage shifts the focus from “fixing” the body to listening  to it. Rather than assuming what the client needs, the therapist follows their cues. This might mean checking in more often, offering options, or adjusting the pace. It’s not about applying pressure to make change happen. It’s about creating the conditions where change feels possible. There’s a quiet respect in this kind of work. A sense that nothing has to be pushed through. That softening isn’t expected, but gently invited. Emotional Safety Comes First For the body to feel safe enough to soften, it has to know it’s not under threat. This is why trauma-informed therapists pay close attention to creating emotional safety. It starts before any physical work begins, with a conversation that values your boundaries, honours your lived experience, and never rushes you into anything. You might choose to stay fully clothed, to lie in a certain position, or to focus only on certain areas of the body. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to pause. In this space, your “no” is just as welcome as your “yes.” The Power of Choice and Presence Trauma often leaves people feeling powerless. That’s why offering choice is a vital part of this work. Before every massage, we begin by exploring how you want to feel, both during the session and afterwards. We talk through the different styles I offer, so you can choose how you’d like the massage to feel each time. You’re also invited to focus on your preferred outcome during the session, tuning in to your breath, the sensations of touch, and the way the music supports the process. This gentle focus helps you stay present, quiet your mind, and sometimes even reach the hypnagogic state... that deep, dreamy space between waking and sleep. I hold the space with safety and presence, but the real work, the softening, the releasing, is yours to do, in your own time. What also makes a difference is presence. Trauma-informed therapists bring calm, steady attention. There’s no rush, no agenda. Just someone beside you, attuned to how your body responds. That kind of presence can be deeply regulating for the nervous system. Sometimes, it’s the first time in a long time that the body feels fully met. It’s Not Just Muscles That Soften So often, clients tell me, “I didn’t even realise how much I was holding until I let go.” That release isn’t forced. It happens when the body decides it’s safe to let go. When it no longer needs to brace, shrink, or stay on alert. In trauma-informed massage, we’re not trying to “fix” the body. We’re meeting it where it is. With gentleness. With choice. With respect for everything it’s been holding. Final Thoughts If you’ve tried massage before and it didn’t feel right, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It might simply mean that your body needed a different kind of care. Trauma-informed massage isn’t just about easing physical tension. It’s about creating a space where the nervous system can begin to feel safe again. Where softening is earned, not expected. And where every part of you is welcome. You’re Welcome Just As You Are Whether your body is ready to soften or still needs time, you don’t need to explain or justify your response. I offer a gentle, trauma-informed approach that honours your pace and your preferences. You can read more about my massage work on my website , or get in touch if you’d like to ask a few questions before booking. You don’t have to be completely calm to begin. You just need to feel safe enough . 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #TraumaInformedMassage #SafeTouch #EmotionalSafety #SomaticHealing #MassageForTrauma #TraumaHealingJourney #BodyAndMindHealing #NervousSystemSupport #HealingFromWithin

When we think about birth, the stories we hear often focus on joy, celebration, and the arrival of new life. But for many women, birth isn’t just a beginning. It’s a moment that marks the start of ongoing distress, fear, or confusion. If your memories of giving birth leave you shaky, tearful, or unable to sleep, with flashback and nightmares, you’re not alone. You may be experiencing what’s known as a Post-Traumatic Stress Response . Why I Use the Term ‘Response,’ Not ‘Disorder’ You may have heard the term PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) used to describe the kinds of symptoms that can follow trauma. I prefer to say Post-Traumatic Stress Response , because the word disorder  implies something is wrong with you . But trauma is not your fault. This is something that happened to  you. And your body’s responses... the flashbacks, the anxiety, the hypervigilance ...are your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you after something overwhelming. These are not signs of brokenness. They’re signs of survival. How Birth Trauma Can Show Up Afterwards Trauma isn’t always about what happened medically during the birth, It’s about how you felt during the experience. Many women describe feeling ignored, frightened, powerless, or unheard. Sometimes birth trauma is linked to emergency situations or intense physical pain, but sometimes it’s the quieter absence of emotional support that leaves the deepest mark. You may notice: Flashbacks  that seem to come out of nowhere Nightmares  that leave you exhausted A sense that you’re always on edge  or can’t relax Difficulty bonding with your baby Feelings of shame , confusion, or guilt These are incredibly common. They don’t mean you’re failing as a parent, They mean your nervous system is still trying to make sense of what happened. What Healing from Flashbacks and Nightmares Can Look Like Healing from birth trauma takes time, but it is  possible. Your body, your mind, and your emotions all hold pieces of the story. And they all deserve support. In my work, I offer gentle, trauma-informed approaches that meet you where you are. We go at your pace. There’s no pressure to talk through the details of your birth unless you  want to. Instead, we focus on restoring a sense of safety, choice, and connection: with your body, with your emotions, and with your own inner knowing. One of the tools I offer is the 3 Step Rewind technique , which is especially effective for those experiencing symptoms like nightmares and flashbacks. It’s a gentle, non-invasive process that doesn’t require you to relive what happened. For a single traumatic event, such as a difficult birth, most people find that just two or three sessions are enough to bring significant relief. Many clients tell me they begin to feel lighter, calmer, and more in control again. The 3 Step Rewind technique is one of several trauma-informed approaches I offer. It’s ideal when flashbacks or nightmares feel stuck in the nervous system. Because it’s gentle and non-intrusive, it fits beautifully alongside body-based work like massage or QEC. We begin with emotional safety and build from there. Final Thoughts If you’re finding it hard to feel safe, to sleep, or to let go of what happened, please know this: you are not alone, and you are not broken. You are having a completely human response to something that left an imprint. With the right support, it’s possible to soften that imprint: to sleep more peacefully, to feel more at home in your body, and to reconnect with the life you want to live. While this post focuses on birth trauma, I work with people who are recovering from any  experience that has left them feeling stuck in survival mode. Whether your trauma came from medical events, accidents, loss, or something harder to name, your story is welcome here. How I Can Support You I offer trauma-informed massage and therapeutic approaches, including 3 Step Rewind, that can help soothe your nervous system and bring your body out of a state of high alert. If you’re ready to explore what healing might look like for you , I’d be honoured to walk alongside you. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #PostTraumaticStressResponse #BirthTraumaRecovery #TraumaInformedSupport #HealingAfterBirth #NightmaresAfterBirth #RewindTherapy #TraumaHealingJourney #TraumaInformedTherapist #SomaticSupport

Have you ever been told you're overreacting, too sensitive, or that you should just let it go? If so, you're not alone. Many people who carry the effects of trauma find their experiences minimised, even by well-meaning friends, professionals, or family members. But trauma isn’t just something that lives in the mind. It's something that leaves an imprint on the body, shaping the way we breathe, sleep, feel, and relate to others. And if you've been feeling like you just can’t “think your way” into feeling better, there’s a good reason for that. Let’s talk about why trauma is not “just in your head” and how your body plays a powerful role in healing. Trauma is a Whole-Body Experience Trauma isn't only about what happened. It’s about how your body responded in the moment and what it had to do to survive. Whether you fought, fled, froze, or fawned, your nervous system was working hard to protect you. The trouble is, those protective patterns don’t always switch off once the danger has passed. You might notice signs like: A tight chest or shallow breathing A constant sense of being on edge Digestive issues or unexplained pain Difficulty sleeping or feeling exhausted no matter how much rest you get A sense of numbness, fog, or disconnection from your body or emotions These are not signs of weakness or failure. They’re signs that your body has been carrying too much for too long. It’s Not About Willpower or Thinking Positively One of the most damaging myths about trauma is that it’s something we should be able to “get over” with enough time or willpower. But trauma doesn’t live in the logical parts of the brain. It lives in the body, especially in the parts of the nervous system that are built for survival, not thinking. That’s why trying to talk yourself out of a trauma response often doesn’t work. You might know  you're safe now, but your body might still be reacting as if you're not. And until your body feels safe, it's very hard for your mind to fully relax. This isn’t your fault. Your responses make sense in the context of what you’ve been through. The Body Remembers, and It Can Heal Your body is wise. It remembers what it’s been through, and it also holds the potential for healing. As Dr Peter Levine writes in Waking the Tiger , trauma is not a life sentence. It is an injury that can be repaired when the body is gently supported. This is the heart of the work I do. Whether through trauma-informed massage, 3 Step Rewind or Quantum Energy Coaching (QEC), I help you create a sense of safety in the body. Together, we support your nervous system to regulate. We do this not by pushing or analysing, but by listening, witnessing, and responding with care. When the body begins to feel safe, real change becomes possible. You may start to notice shifts in how you sleep, how you breathe, and how connected you feel, both to yourself and to others. Final Thoughts You may have been feeling stuck, frozen, or constantly overwhelmed, but please know that your body isn’t betraying you. It has been doing its best to protect you. Healing isn’t about getting rid of the past. It is about building safety in the present. And your body has the capacity to do that with the right support. How I Can Support You If you're experiencing the physical effects of trauma, such as tension, numbness, flashbacks, or exhaustion, you are not alone. I offer gentle, trauma-informed support to help your body find its way back to safety. You're welcome to get in touch to explore how we might work together. I’d be honoured to walk alongside you. 👉 Contact Me 👉 View My Services #NervousSystemSupport #TheBodyRemembers #TraumaInformed #SomaticHealing #HealingJourney #BodyMindConnection #TraumaRecovery #FromSurvivalToSafety #ItWasNeverAllInYourHead

Sustainable Healing Begins With Gentle, Consistent Support A Path, Not a Destination Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It unfolds gradually, often in layers, as your body and mind feel safe enough to begin letting go. For those of us who carry trauma, especially from early life, birth experiences, or intergenerational patterns, recovery is not a straight line. There might be times of relief, followed by periods of emotional intensity or fatigue. This doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It means your system is doing exactly what it needs: integrating. Trying to “fix” everything quickly can sometimes be overwhelming. What’s more helpful is to focus on building capacity, learning to feel safe, grounded, and more connected in your everyday life. That’s what makes deeper healing possible. Listening to Your Body's Needs Over Time As you move forward in your healing, your needs will change. Early on, you might crave rest, stillness, and comfort. Later, you might feel more ready for deeper emotional work, or even reconnecting with creativity or joy. This is all part of your body’s intelligence. It knows what you’re ready for, and when. Learning to listen to your body in this way is a practice in itself. It’s not always easy, especially if you’ve had to disconnect from your body to feel safe. That’s why working gently and consistently is so important. It helps rebuild trust in your inner signals and responses. What Sustainable Self-Care Looks Like Sustainable self-care isn’t about bubble baths or occasional treats (although those can be lovely too). It’s about weaving practices into your everyday life that help you feel more present, more resourced, and more like yourself. That might look like: • Letting go of perfectionism around your healing journey • Having regular supportive touch, like nurturing massage • Creating small rituals that help you regulate: like a few minutes of breathing, journaling, or walking barefoot on grass • Reaching out for connection when you notice signs of emotional isolation • Making time for something that feels joyful or creative These small, regular actions create a foundation. They gently increase your nervous system’s capacity and help you feel less reactive and more resilient.. Let Your Therapist Know if You’re Struggling Sometimes, especially after a session or during a period of emotional release, you might experience a healing crisis... a temporary worsening of symptoms as your body processes old wounds. This can feel unsettling, but it’s not unusual. Letting your therapist know if anything difficult arises between sessions is important. You don’t have to carry it alone or wait until your next appointment. Your healing should feel supported, not overwhelming. Recommended Reading If you're looking to deepen your understanding of how self-care and healing practices affect your brain and body chemistry, I recommend The DOSE Effect by TJ Power. The book explores how simple, consistent habits can boost your natural levels of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins — the “feel-good” chemicals that support long-term wellbeing. It’s a practical and encouraging read for anyone on a healing path. Since reading The Dose Effect I have changed some of my daily practices and have promised myself to continue moving away from the habits I had fallen into with technology. I took the plunge, literally, and signed up to my local leisure centre to go swimming regularly. Something that I had been considering for years, but had never followed through on. Take a Moment Take a moment to notice: what kind of support feels most nourishing for you right now? What would it look like to offer that to yourself regularly? Final Thoughts Healing takes time, but it also becomes more easeful with the right support. You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. Whether you’re in the early stages of healing or navigating a new phase, I offer trauma-informed approaches that meet you where you are and support your nervous system to gently shift out of survival mode. 💜 If you’re ready to take the next step on your healing journey, I'm here to support you. . Whether you’re looking for a calm space to reconnect with your body or ready to explore deeper healing, we’ll find the approach that feels right for you. #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemHealing #HealingFromTrauma #SomaticHealing #TraumaInformedCare #safe #IntergenerationalHealing #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney #BreakTheCycle

If you've been told you'll need to wait months for CBT, or maybe EMDR if you're lucky, you're not alone. Many women reach out feeling desperate for support after a traumatic birth, only to find themselves on a long waiting list, still struggling with flashbacks, anxiety, and a constant sense of unease. And while the wait goes on, so does life. You're parenting, maybe working, trying to hold it all together… often while carrying the invisible weight of trauma. But what if you didn’t have to wait? The Cost of Waiting NHS services do their best, but under current pressures, it's not unusual to be offered therapy six months, or more, after first asking for help. By that point, trauma responses can feel even more entrenched. In the meantime, you might be: Reliving distressing memories of the birth Avoiding hospitals, babies, or even thinking about having another child Struggling to bond, sleep, or feel calm in your own body Feeling alone or misunderstood, especially if others think you "should be over it by now" Waiting isn’t neutral. It often adds to the distress. Why Talking Isn’t Always Enough When It Comes to Birth Trauma Birth trauma isn’t stored in the logical, thinking part of the brain. It’s held in the nervous system. The body remembers what happened, often long after your mind wants to move on. This is why cognitive approaches like CBT aren’t always effective for trauma. They focus on thoughts and behaviours, but when your body is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, no amount of logic can talk it out of that state. In fact, trying to "think your way out" of trauma can sometimes make things worse, especially if you're asked to relive the experience before your nervous system feels safe. This is where TBR 3 Step Rewind offers a different path. One that works with how trauma actually operates in the body. TBR 3 Step Rewind: A Gentle, Rapid Option The TBR 3 Step Rewind process is designed specifically for trauma held in the body. It’s gentle, safe, and non-intrusive. You don’t have to retell your story in detail. You don’t have to relive what happened. Many women describe a deep sense of relief after just one or two sessions. “ The therapy was gentle, fast and surprisingly effective. After just a few sessions, my distressing memories lost their intensity, and I can finally think about my birth experience without emotional pain. The flashbacks and nightmares have stopped, and I am beginning to embrace motherhood with joy instead of living in the past. The weight I carried for so long has finally gone, and I feel more present, more connected, and at peace ”— Client, after TBR 3 Step Rewind This approach helps calm the fight-or-flight response, allowing your mind and body to let go of the trauma in a way that feels spacious and respectful. If there’s more beneath the surface, we can gently explore that too—using other tools that honour your unique journey. Imagine what it would feel like to sleep better. To think about the birth without panic. To look ahead with more confidence and less fear. Should You Have to Choose? In an ideal world, support would be immediate and freely available. But right now, many women are left holding trauma with no clear timeframe for relief. If you're feeling stuck, and if it feels right for you, there are options that don’t require waiting. TBR 3 Step Rewind is one of them. You can still access NHS support later if you want to. But in the meantime, you might already be feeling lighter, clearer, and calmer. Final Thoughts Healing doesn’t have to take forever. You don’t have to wait for someone else’s schedule to open up before you start feeling better. If your birth experience is still affecting your daily life, and you're ready to move forward, TBR 3 Step Rewind can offer a gentle and effective way to begin. 💜 Curious about how TBR 3 Step Rewind might help you? I offer a free 30 minute call where you can ask questions and explore whether this approach feels like the right fit. You're in control every step of the way. 👉 Or visit www.karenlaw.co.uk to learn more about birth trauma support. #BirthTraumaRecovery #TBR3StepRewind #HealingAfterBirth #RewindTherapy #PTSDRelief #SupportForMums #PostnatalWellbeing #VBACSupport #BirthAfterTrauma

Have you ever noticed how music can touch you in a way that words never could? The human body is wired for vibration. Deep within us, the vagus nerve, a key part of our nervous system, listens and responds to these subtle signals, helping to regulate our sense of safety, connection, and wellbeing. Recently, I had a powerful reminder of this truth. After a couple of emotionally challenging weeks, I was grateful to have something to look forward to: a night out to see a rock band called Empyre, a group I'd first discovered last year at BonFest. During their track New Republic , a powerful song questioning human wars and holding onto hope for renewal, the bass guitarist and drummer combined to create a deep sub drop . The vibration hit like a shock wave, rolling through the room and right through my body. For a moment, it felt as if the very air was alive, and I could feel the music not just in my ears, but in every cell. It took my breathe away and I looked for repeats throughout the song. The venue’s low, stone-vaulted ceiling amplified the soundwaves so powerfully that I could feel the air moving around me. It wouldn’t have surprised me if my hair had lifted! That physical sensation, combined with the emotional intensity of the song’s message, left me feeling energised and more connected, both to myself and to something much bigger. It reinforced something I often say: music is life. And it’s not just a feeling. Experiences like this have a biological foundation. Let’s explore how vibration, music, and the vagus nerve work together to support healing and emotional release. The Vagus Nerve: Your Inner Pathway to Calm and Connection The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body, connecting the brain to the heart, lungs, gut, and beyond. It's a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for rest, digestion, repair, and social connection. When the vagus nerve is well-toned and healthy, we feel more resilient, more present, and better able to move through life's challenges. But when it becomes overwhelmed by stress, trauma, or emotional strain, it can be harder to find a sense of safety or calm. The good news is that the vagus nerve can be stimulated and strengthened, and vibration is one of its favourite languages. Vibration and the Body: A Natural Dialogue At our core, we are vibrational beings. Every organ, every cell, even our emotions carry their own energetic frequencies. When we experience vibration, through music, voice, touch, or movement, it sends messages deep into our nervous system. Low-frequency vibrations, like the deep bass and drum resonance I felt at the gig, often have a grounding, settling effect. Rhythmic, flowing sounds can synchronise with our heartbeat and breathing, gently encouraging our body towards a calmer, more regulated state. It’s a dialogue without words... and the vagus nerve is listening closely . Music, Sound, and the Vagus Nerve: Healing Through Resonance Research has shown that certain sounds and musical practices can directly activate the vagus nerve. For example: Humming, singing, or chanting creates internal vibration around the throat and chest, gently stimulating the vagus nerve. Listening to slow, rhythmic music (around 60 beats per minute) can support heart rate variability, an important marker of vagal health. ( although rock music is not generally slow ;-) ) Low, resonant tones — like the sub drop at the concert or the steady pulse of a drum — can help regulate the nervous system and foster a sense of groundedness. This is one reason why music can feel so profoundly healing, especially during times of emotional stress or change. Sound can reach places that words alone cannot. Therapists who work with the body’s natural healing instincts recognise this too. For example, Dr Peter A Levine PhD, creator of Somatic Experiencing, uses humming to gently stimulate the vagus nerve, helping the body to regulate and release stored tension. Music and sound truly are part of how we heal. Simple Ways to Support Your Vagus Nerve with Vibration and Music You don’t need to attend a live gig to experience the healing power of vibration (although if you enjoy live music, it can be a wonderful way to recharge!). Here are a few simple ways to weave vibrational healing into your everyday life: Hum softly to yourself in the morning or before sleep. Sing along to music that lifts your spirit, letting the sound fill your body. Listen to calming music with deep, soothing tones. Use a singing bowl, drum, or gentle tapping on your chest to create vibrations you can feel. Move your body to music , swaying, rocking, or slow dancing, allowing the rhythm to reconnect you with yourself. The key is to feel the vibration, not just hear it. Final Thoughts: Remembering Our Natural Rhythms Music has a way of reaching parts of us that words alone sometimes cannot. When vibration meets the body, and the vagus nerve listens, something shifts. Sometimes in ways we don't fully understand, but always in ways that matter. Whether it's the deep pulse of a bass guitar, the rise of a choir, or the simple hum of a favourite song, these moments remind us that we are vibrational beings, designed to feel, to release, and to reconnect. In my massage treatments, music is carefully chosen to support the style of bodywork offered, creating a soundscape that invites your nervous system to soften, regulate, and heal. Next time you find yourself moved by music, take a moment to notice: your body might just be finding its way back to balance.

How the past shapes our present, and how healing can begin with you The Echoes We Carry Sometimes the weight we feel isn’t just our own. Emotional patterns, unspoken fears, and survival strategies can pass through families like invisible threads. You might find yourself reacting in ways you don’t fully understand, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected, even when life seems fine on the surface. These experiences may be rooted in something deeper. Stories, wounds, and beliefs passed down from previous generations can shape how we move through the world. This is the quiet influence of intergenerational trauma. What Is Intergenerational Trauma? Intergenerational trauma refers to the way unresolved trauma can be passed from one generation to the next. This can happen through behaviour, emotional patterns, nervous system imprinting, or the stories we do or don’t tell. You might notice: A family history of loss, displacement, or violence Repeating patterns of emotional suppression, hypervigilance, or disconnection Difficulty feeling safe or grounded, even when your life appears stable A sense of carrying burdens that aren't fully yours Understanding that these responses may be inherited, not a personal failing, can be the beginning of healing. Why Awareness Matters Naming what has been unnamed in your family line is powerful. It brings light to hidden patterns and creates space for change. When we work with intergenerational trauma, the goal is not to blame or relive the past. It is to gently notice what has been carried and to offer it new possibilities. You might be the first in your family with the opportunity to pause, reflect, and choose a different way forward. You Can Be the Turning Point When you begin to explore your own healing, you’re not just doing it for yourself. You’re interrupting old patterns and making space for something new, for yourself, your children, and generations to come. Healing intergenerational trauma often unfolds in layers (think layers of an onion). We don’t dive into the deepest wounds right away because that wouldn’t be safe or supportive. Instead, we start with the surface-level patterns that are showing up in everyday life: anxiety, emotional reactivity, chronic tension, or relationship struggles. As your nervous system becomes more regulated and resilient, it becomes easier to explore what lies beneath… the early experiences, the unconscious beliefs, and, eventually, the inherited stories and burdens passed down through your family line. Final Thoughts Intergenerational trauma may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your future. With the right support, it's entirely possible to shift longstanding patterns and create a new foundation rooted in safety, self-connection, and compassion. 💜 If you feel like you’re holding pain that isn’t fully yours, or you’re noticing repeating patterns that feel hard to shift, I can support you . Through trauma-informed approaches and nervous system support, it’s possible to break the cycle and begin again. #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemHealing #HealingFromTrauma #SomaticHealing #TraumaInformedCare #safe #IntergenerationalHealing #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney #BreakTheCycle

The role of therapeutic touch in reconnecting with parts of yourself that became disconnected through trauma. When Words Aren't Enough When we think of trauma, we often imagine memories or emotions that feel too painful to face. But trauma doesn't just live in the mind. It also lives in the body. In fact, long after the conscious mind has blocked out or minimised distressing events, the body can still hold the imprint of what happened. That’s why therapeutic touch can be such a powerful part of healing: it bypasses words and speaks directly to the parts of us that may have become frozen, disconnected, or shut down. The Body Remembers The body has its own kind of memory, sometimes called implicit memory . This is not the kind of memory we consciously recall, like the plot of a film or a birthday date. Instead, it lives in muscle tension, flinches, gut feelings, or the sense of being on edge even when everything seems ‘fine.’ For people who’ve experienced trauma, especially in early life, the body may have learned to expect threat or rejection even in safe situations. This can show up in chronic tension, a lack of ease in being touched, or even an absence of sensation in certain parts of the body. Therapeutic, trauma-informed touch offers a way back in, gently and safely. The Power of Connection Through Touch Touch is one of the earliest ways we learn about safety, comfort, and connection. If early touch was absent, inconsistent, or unsafe, the nervous system may have adapted in ways that make closeness feel difficult, even when we want connection. Trauma-informed massage creates a space where touch is safe, respectful, and attuned to your needs. Over time, this kind of touch can support you in: Feeling more grounded and present in your body Softening tension patterns held for years Beginning to trust connection again Strengthening your ability to regulate your nervous system It’s not about fixing or forcing anything. It’s about allowing your system to experience something different: touch that nurtures instead of overwhelms, presence instead of pressure. Why It Matters That the Work Is Body-Based Talk therapies can be incredibly valuable, but sometimes we're at a point where talking about  the trauma can't shift how we feel . That’s where body-based approaches come in. When you experience safety through your body, rather than just being told you're safe, something begins to change on a deeper level. That might look like breathing more easily, sleeping more soundly, or feeling less reactive. It might be a greater ability to notice your own needs and tend to them. The transformation often begins subtly, but grows stronger with each session. Small Steps Toward Reconnection Reconnecting with your body after trauma can feel like a big leap. That’s why it’s so important to go slowly and at your own pace. Some people begin with fully clothed sessions or simply sitting with their therapist in the same space, allowing trust to build gradually. Others start by noticing what feels okay, or not okay, during touch and using that awareness as part of the healing process. This work honours your boundaries and supports your capacity to feel choice and control in your healing journey. Working With Me In my practice, I offer trauma-informed massage that gently supports nervous system regulation and helps rebuild connection with the body. Where helpful, I also draw on other trauma-informed approaches that can support emotional integration and nervous system healing. Many of the women I work with come to me feeling disconnected, stuck in survival patterns, or unsure how to feel safe in their bodies. Over time, we work together to help restore a sense of ease, presence, and wholeness. Final Thoughts If you’ve felt disconnected from your body, whether due to childhood trauma, birth trauma, or other overwhelming experiences, please know that you’re not alone. The body can learn a new language of safety, one touch at a time. 💜 You don’t have to live in survival mode. I offer trauma-informed approaches that meet you exactly where you are, gently supporting your body to feel safe, connected, and whole again. When you're ready, I’m here . #TraumaInformedHealing #BodyBasedTherapy #ReconnectWithYourBody #HealingThroughTouch #SomaticHealing #NervousSystemSupport #TherapeuticTouch #MassageForTrauma #TraumaRecoveryJourney #FeelSafeAgain #BodyRemembers #HealingIsPossible