Whether your birth was traumatic, unexpectedly medicalised, or simply not what you’d hoped for, the grief can be quiet and heavy. It may not be visible to others. But it’s real.

For many women, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, these patterns are often chalked up to “being scatterbrained,” “anxious,” or “just overwhelmed.” But what if there’s more going on beneath the surface?

A caesarean birth can save lives, and still leave you feeling shaken, disempowered, or unsure about what comes next. Whether your caesarean was planned or an emergency, gentle or traumatic, straightforward or complicated, it may have left a lasting emotional imprint on your body and your confidence.

IWe often hear that “a healthy baby is all that matters.” But for many parents, birth can leave deep emotional and physical wounds that don’t fade once they’re holding their baby in their arms.

In trauma recovery, we work with the nervous system in layers. Each time we create more capacity for safety, another layer of held experience may surface. This is natural, and often necessary. You might feel frustrated by this process: I thought I’d already dealt with this. But the truth is, you’re meeting it now with more support, more regulation, and more choice than you had before.

Trauma isn’t always about what happened medically during the birth, It’s about how you felt during the experience. Many women describe feeling ignored, frightened, powerless, or unheard. Sometimes birth trauma is linked to emergency situations or intense physical pain, but sometimes it’s the quieter absence of emotional support that leaves the deepest mark.

Trauma isn't only about what happened. It’s about how your body responded in the moment and what it had to do to survive

Sustainable self-care isn’t about bubble baths or occasional treats (although those can be lovely too). It’s about weaving practices into your everyday life that help you feel more present, more resourced, and more like yourself.

Birth trauma isn’t stored in the logical, thinking part of the brain. It’s held in the nervous system. The body remembers what happened, often long after your mind wants to move on.

Intergenerational trauma refers to the way unresolved trauma can be passed from one generation to the next. This can happen through behaviour, emotional patterns, nervous system imprinting, or the stories we do or don’t tell.

For people who’ve experienced trauma, especially in early life, the body may have learned to expect threat or rejection even in safe situations. This can show up in chronic tension, a lack of ease in being touched, or even an absence of sensation in certain parts of the body.

As humans, we are biologically wired to seek connection, closeness, and safety with others. But for many of us, early experiences of trauma (especially in childhood) can leave imprints that make relationships feel confusing, overwhelming, or unsafe.

When our early experiences didn’t give us the safety, love, or attunement we needed, we often carry those wounds into adulthood.

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