Mothering Yourself: Reconnecting with Your Inner Child for Deep Healing
- Karen Law
- Mar 31
- 4 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
(Practical ways to nurture yourself when you didn’t receive the care you needed as a child.)
The Missing Pieces of Childhood
When our early experiences didn’t give us the safety, love, or attunement we needed, we often carry those wounds into adulthood. We may struggle with self-care, have harsh inner critics, or find it difficult to meet our own needs. But healing is possible. By learning to mother ourselves—to offer the care and compassion we once needed—we can begin to repair old wounds and build a foundation of self-trust and self-love.
This is not about placing blame or getting stuck in the past. It’s about recognising the gaps in our own care and finding gentle, meaningful ways to meet those needs now.
But healing is possible. Reconnecting with your inner child—mothering yourself with the care, kindness, and safety you may not have received—can be a profound step toward breaking free from old survival patterns and building a new sense of self-worth.
Recognising the Gaps in Care
Many of us grow up without realising what was missing until we face challenges in adulthood—struggles with relationships, self-care, or a deep sense of unworthiness. You might notice:
Hyper-independence – Feeling like you can’t rely on anyone and must handle everything alone.
People-pleasing – Putting others first at the expense of your own needs, fearing rejection or conflict.
Emotional shutdown – Struggling to express emotions, feeling numb, or avoiding vulnerability.
Inner criticism – A harsh inner voice that tells you you’re not enough or don’t deserve care.
These are not personality flaws; they are survival strategies. They were once necessary to navigate an unpredictable or neglectful environment. The good news is that you can learn to meet your own needs in a way that feels safe and nourishing.
Reconnecting with Your Inner Child
At the core of healing is rebuilding the relationship with yourself. This includes recognising the needs that were unmet in childhood and finding ways to meet them with gentleness and care.
1. Listening to Your Inner Child
Your inner child still lives within you, carrying the emotions and unmet needs of the past. Tuning in can be as simple as:
Journaling and writing a letter to your younger self.
Placing a hand on your heart and asking, What do you need right now?
Noticing when old wounds are triggered and offering yourself kindness instead of self-judgment.
2. Creating Emotional Safety
Just like a child needs a safe, predictable environment, your nervous system thrives on safety and regulation. You can create this by:
Establishing simple, soothing routines (morning tea, a favourite blanket, quiet time)
Engaging in grounding practices like deep breathing, nature walks, or mindful movement.
Allowing yourself to feel emotions in a safe way—without rushing to ‘fix’ or dismiss them.
3. Offering Yourself the Nurturance You Missed
If you didn’t receive enough warmth, validation, or tenderness in childhood, you can begin offering it to yourself now. Try:
Affirming your worth – speak to yourself as you would a small child: You are loved. You are safe. You are enough.
Gentle touch – self-soothing through massage, hugging a pillow, or resting a hand on your heart.
Comfort and play – engaging in things that bring joy, like music, creativity, or even childhood comforts.
Healing Through Nervous System Regulation
When childhood experiences leave us feeling unsafe or unseen, our nervous system adapts by developing survival responses—like shutting down, staying hyper-alert, or seeking external validation to feel worthy. These patterns don’t just affect emotions; they shape how our body responds to stress, connection, and self-care.
Mothering yourself isn’t just about emotional healing—it’s about teaching your nervous system that it is safe to receive care. You can begin this process by:
Soothing an overactive stress response – Simple practices like deep breathing, gentle touch, or rocking movements can help shift your system out of fight-or-flight mode.
Building capacity for self-care – If meeting your own needs feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, start with small, manageable steps. Over time, your nervous system will learn to trust care rather than reject it.
Creating a sense of inner safety – Your body and mind need to experience consistent signals that say, I am safe. I am cared for. This might include grounding techniques, sensory comforts, or working with a trusted practitioner who understands nervous system healing.
Regular nurturing touch, such as trauma-informed massage, can be a powerful way to support this process. Touch signals safety to the nervous system, helping to release stored tension and invite deeper relaxation. Over time, this can make it easier to access feelings of warmth, self-compassion, and connection.
For those ready to address the deeper beliefs that formed in childhood, QEC provides a direct way to shift limiting patterns at the subconscious level. It allows you to create new internal messages—ones that affirm your worth, your safety, and your ability to receive care—helping to rewire old survival responses into healthier, more supportive ways of being.
By tending to your nervous system in these ways, you’re not just changing thoughts—you’re rewiring deep survival patterns and making space for self-compassion, connection, and ease.
Final Thoughts
When early experiences leave gaps in our sense of safety and nurturance, we have the power to fill those spaces with self-compassion and care. You are not ‘too broken’ to heal. You are learning how to give yourself the love you always deserved.
💜 If you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and feel truly supported on your healing journey, I offer trauma-informed approaches to help you regulate your nervous system and move toward deep, lasting healing. Let’s explore what might feel right for you.
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